Esther Perel is redefining modern love.
Join us on 14th Feb, Sunday 2 PM for a conversation about love.
“Love is not a permanent state of enthusiasm” -Esther Perel
Meet Esther Perel, one of the most insightful people when it comes to contemporary love and marriage. She is one of New York’s best-selling authors and she has been working as a psychotherapist for more than 35 years!
She belongs to a family of holocaust survivors as a result she has been familiar with trauma since her childhood, she believes her family background has played a major role in her perceptions and how she approaches relationships in life. “My parents didn’t just want to survive, they wanted to revive. They wanted to embrace vibrancy and vitality — in the mystical sense of the word, the erotic. I owe them much of my perspective on life, as well as my belief in the power of will, the search for meaning, and the resilience of the human spirit. To me, there is a world of difference between “not being dead” and “being alive”. I owe this understanding to my parents.”
Her book, “Mating in Captivity” was an international success and has been translated into 25 languages since its publication in 2006. Her recent book “The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity” came out in 2017 and became an instant bestseller.
But perhaps the most interesting aspect of her work is that she hosts a podcast series called, “ Where Should We Begin” which are recordings of real couples’ therapy sessions. She rightfully calls it a podcast for anyone who has ever loved, as it captures the raw, vulnerable details about a relationship and various turns it takes. The podcast is extremely popular and is currently in its fourth season.
She also hosts another podcast series called “How’s Work”, which similarly records therapy sessions of co-workers touching every work environment from start-ups and family businesses to corporations and service industries.
“I think that definition today of love—“you are my everything”—where you really see it, this complete exaltation, is in wedding vows. Have you ever noticed? I mean, it’s, “I will wipe every tear that streams down your face before you even notice it’s going down.” I think a realistic vow is “I will fuck up on a regular basis, and, on occasion, I’ll admit it.”
This article by The New Yorker is such a delightful read. The interview provides an amazing window into Esther Perel’s views regarding love and everything surrounding it. It also gives you her story of growing up in a community of holocaust survivors and how that has influenced her understanding of love.
"Reconciling our needs for security and our need for adventure into one relationship, or today what we like to call a "passionate marriage" used to be a contradiction in terms."
What is it about transgression that makes desire so potent? asks Esther in this 19 minute long Ted talk about long term relationships. She further asks, when you love, how does it feel? and When you desire, how is it different? These are questions that make you stop and look deep into your understanding of love and desire. Throughout the video, she elaborates on the staggering influence of erotica in relationships and why people often get it wrong.
"..isolation that comes with comparing our lives and relationships with the perfectly-curated social media profiles of our friends and people we don’t even know. Recently, as every other dynamic in our lives has been upended, the loneliness dilemma has intensified."
Read this blog by Esther, where she pens down the complexity of loneliness in a relationship and provides a set of actionable practices that can help people get over that.
Finally, watch this fun '73 Questions with Esther Perel' video by Vogue. She is like a breath of fresh air and her eloquence and insight are so charming!
Inspired by her work, we are conducting our own little social experiment to explore love in this month's community event, ‘What We Don't Understand About Love?’
You can send in your questions regarding love, relationships, and marriage by filling up this form and be a part of the event on the 14th of February, 2021 at 2 pm IST.
See you on Valentine’s day for an afternoon filled with mirth, joy, and love!
😍😍😍😍😍😍wow!!!!!