Everyone’s Chasing Main Character Energy.
Why being normal is so uncool?
"We are a social species which is becoming increasingly antisocial." - A Redditor
We’ve all seen it. That unmistakable air of self-importance that hangs heavy over people trying to be ‘main characters’. Every cafe visit is supposed to be a cinematic shot. Every gym session needs a dramatic arc. And god forbid someone walks into the frame while they’re filming a slow-mo sip of matcha!
There was a time when this phrase ‘main character energy’ felt empowering. Like a reminder to put yourself out there, to stop shrinking into the background. But somewhere along the way, the meaning twisted. Now it feels more like: You are the only person that matters. Everyone else is just decoration.
And I don’t buy into this idea.
Most of my life looks the same every day (at least on weekdays).
I wake up at 7 AM, an hour of me time, go for a walk and take that vitamin D. Get ready, have breakfast and then sit for work at 9.30. First work session till 1.30 PM, lunch, then second work session till 6 PM. Head to the gym, train for cricket, come back home and have dinner which was according to the weekly meal planning, talk to friends & family. Aim for 8 hours of sleep.
If my life was a movie, it would be titled ‘Keeping Up with the Calendar’
I love the routine of it. I find peace in its predictability. I don’t feel the need to be different every day. I don’t want to be the centre of attention. I don’t want a plot twist.
And more than anything, I don’t want to be a main character.
Over the last few years, we’ve seen a steady rise in what psychologists call main character syndrome. Dr. Susan Albers describes it as a kind of performance. You live your life like there’s a camera pointed at you, and everyone else is an audience member or a side character. Every outfit is curated, every heartbreak is poetic, and every inconvenience is part of your heroic journey.
It sounds dramatic. But it’s often rooted in something much softer: insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem.
Sometimes, the easiest way to escape reality is to romanticise it. To pretend it’s all part of a bigger story. One where you come out shinier on the other side.
It’s okay to feel special. But when it starts erasing other people’s stories, it stops being cinematic and starts becoming selfish.
Philosopher Anna Gotlib calls it morally dangerous. She says that when you see yourself as the main character, everyone else becomes a prop. Not a person with a full life, but someone designed to move your story forward.
It’s not just self-centred, it chips away at our ability to connect, to love, to coexist. Because if you're always the lead, you're never the listener.
That hit me.
We live in a world that constantly tells us to chase visibility. To build a personal brand. To market your personality. It’s so easy to believe that being seen equals being loved.
But some of the people I’ve admired most in life aren’t the loud ones. They’re not chasing attention. They’re not trying to be main characters.
I posted a picture on my IG story to thank Lisa Pingale, the first person who believed in my idea of Platform For Artists, 8 years ago. Back then, nobody in Pune was even willing to take my call. She never asked for credit. She never made it feel like a big deal. She was just kind. She probably doesn’t even realize the impact she had on my life and career. And I’ve made it a point to pass that kind of support forward, quietly to others.
Another person I wish nothing but good things for is my mom’s doctor, Dr. Bipin. At a time when no doctor in the country was ready to take a chance without a liver transplant, he said, “Let’s give it some time and see how she responds to new treatment.”
And she did get better. I would’ve been writing this newsletter today with a baby-sized liver myself if it weren’t for him. He’ll probably never know what that meant to us, and he is just doing this for so many families out there.
These are the people I think of. These are the kinds of people I want to grow into.
Sometimes I’ve loved the supporting characters in films more than the leads.
In Chupke Chupke, Rajpal Yadav’s character is barely on screen, but when he is, you remember him. In Sanju, Vicky Kaushal doesn’t steal the limelight, but his presence grounds the film. Even in real life, the people who stay behind the scenes are often the ones holding the whole story together. Your househelp, chemistry teacher, newspaper wale bhaiya, driver, or a receptionist at your office, etc.
They are like good design. You wouldn’t know their importance unless they are absent.
Why do we overlook that kind of role? Why do we think the only way to matter is to be in the spotlight?
Maybe being a side character is underrated.
Because side characters listen more. They observe. They hold space for others. And sometimes, they change the course of the story without even trying.
Cheers
P.S. I was like Monica in my teenage years, but today I am the most boring or normal person I know of in my life. And I am damn happy about it.
If you have read it till the end, would love to hear your thoughts in the comments or DM me on IG/whatsapp or even email. I love talking to people about these topics. Cheers.