Has Romanticism ruined Love?
Community event on 14th Feb, Sunday 2 PM.
“Love is a cultural invention, and we are not in the end of its evolution”
Romanticism began as a literary and intellectual movement in Europe in the 18th century. As the world all-around was on its way towards industrialization and modernization, authors and philosophers lamented the loss of the natural and peaceful world. Rationality and practicality were often shunned by them while valorizing emotions, beauty, feelings, and passion. Romanticism as a movement is studied extensively under the discipline of English Literature and its origin and further glorification can be prominently found in the works of William Wordsworth, John Keats, William Blake, etc. But romanticism did not stay confined as a literary convention. It soon spread all over the world and influenced people’s understanding of love, life, nature, work, and basically everything else around us.
Before you proceed forward, a special mention to Alain de Botton, he is a British philosopher and has extensively written and talked about romanticism, so much so that most of the content linked ahead is his creation. You can listen to this brilliant talk by him that encapsulates everything about romanticism.
“For a thousand of years only a minute ago on the historical clock, it was unambiguously meant to be only about land, power, and money. The notion that you should love your spouse would have seemed plain laughable, this may have created a collective trauma, we are still in flight form.”
This video brilliantly captures how throughout the course of human life culture, political structures, societal notions have shaped the institution of marriage of love. It is astonishing to explore such intense history associated with a feeling as personal and intimate as love!
“The Romantic movement has permanently believed our sensibilities, as the world has grown ever more technological and rational, romanticism has come to stick up for the irrational, the untrained, the exotic, the childlike, and the naive. There is something a bit adolescent and immature with Romanticism. But then it can be something rather heartless, cold, dogmatic, arrogant in many aspects of modernity.”
“Our lives unfold against a cultural backdrop that creates a powerful sense of what is "normal" in love; it subtly guides us as to where we should place our emotional emphases, it teaches us what to value, how to approach conflicts, what to get excited about, when to tolerate, and what we can be legitimately incensed by. Love has a history and we ride - sometimes rather helplessly - on its currents.”
Romanticism and capitalism are the two dominant ideas of our time, guiding the way we think and feel about the two things that usually matter most in our lives: relationships and work. But combining romanticism and capitalism, as we are actually expected to do, can be arduous in the extreme. It’s an unhappy historical clash. We live under two very powerful but oddly incompatible systems — and art doesn’t help us here. The impressive philosophy of romantic love in art — with its emphasis on intimacy and openness and spending lengthy, carefree days together (often in nature, sometimes next to cliffs or waterfalls) — sits very badly with the requirements of working routines that fill our heads with complex demands, keep us away from home for long stretches and render us insecure about our positions in a competitive environment.
This article talks about the in-congruency of what we see, read, expect, and dream of and what constitutes reality. It talks about the massive influence of literary work on people’s perceptions about their own lives, citing of course, ‘The Sorrows of Young Werther’, one of the first novels that explored and justified the passionate, unrestrained, and untamed love. One of my favorite films, “Before Sunrise” is also under scrutiny, and rightfully so. It also cites examples of literary works that are not so one-dimensional in their portrayal of love and are quite grounded in reality.
“The point here is that romance and all of the weight we tend to put on it is a modern invention, and primarily promoted and marketed by a bunch of businessmen who realised it will get you to pay for movie tickets and/or a new piece of jewellery. As Don Draper once said, “What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons.”
If not for anything else, read this article for its uncanny humor! It recounts the origin and integration of romanticism into popular culture in the simplest way possible. And it starts with, “At some point during evolution between plankton and Bon Jovi, apes evolved the ability to become emotionally attached to one another. This emotional attachment would eventually come to be known as “love” and evolution would one day produce a bevy of singers from New Jersey who would make millions writing cheesy songs about it.”
Finally watch this video, to understand which end of the spectrum you align with.
Our understanding of love is at all times influenced by our culture and history. Never before in the history of mankind was there such close interrelation between love and romance as today. Is our flawed understanding of love obstructing us from genuine intimacy? This Valentine’s Day, we are on a quest to understand and decode modern love and marriage with Pawan Rochwani and Safalta Kevlani!
Fill up this form to join us on our community event on the 14th of February, 2021 at 2 pm IST.
See you on Valentine’s Day 2 PM!