How much is too much?
Anecdotes on over-sharing on the internet.
Hello there friends,
As a cosmopolitan internet human, some questions that I often ponder upon are What is authentic? and How to be authentic? The answer that I always land up with is the same old cliche “be yourself” yes, but to what degree? How honest should I be on social media? Where should I draw the lines? and What is over-sharing?
These questions of course have subjective answers but as an individual, I have not yet reached any convincing set of answers. And the search for the same often impedes my experience on the internet. I do plead guilty of cringing hard when I see others over-sharing on the internet. And it is the same judgment I want to escape that makes me think so much about what I post and what I don’t on. But there is also an inherent urge in me to post random bits and pieces of my day on the internet. And I have been doing some reading and thinking about these and I realized that I am not alone in this. There have been literal research done about this issue of oversharing. So I thought of writing on it.
Why Do We Overshare?
Because Social Media wants us to, tempts us to.
Yes, that’s right, every social media platform is designed to maximize ease of interaction. And they have come up with a buffet of opportunities in form of status updates, stories, reels, posts, and whatnot to facilitate and encourage us to be as active on these apps as possible. Think about it for a moment, clicking a picture has never been as accessible and convenient as it is today. It is a cakewalk to capture every second of your day and sharing it with anyone and everyone. And if technology enables you to do so then why not? right?
FOMO
Yes, the F-word, which all of us dread the most. A study defines it as,
The uneasy and sometimes all-consuming feeling that you’re missing out – that your peers are doing, in the know about, or in possession of more or something better than you.
Over-sharing on the internet is our coping mechanism. “Yes, others might have a happening life but so do I.” Often, we share not out of joy or pleasure but out of our desire to tell the world that our life is full of interesting people and events.
As Montesquieu once said:
If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.
And this FOMO often takes control of our lives making us too interested in what others are doing and how we too can put an appearance of the same.
(Over) Sharing sometimes help us bond with others
Putting up stories to get a reply from a crush. All of us have been there, haven’t we? We sometimes consciously and unconsciously share on the internet with an urge to get validated to find a tribe of people who will resonate with what we are feeling and or saying. And this almost always does come true. No matter how eccentric or how basic you are the internet will always help you discover people who are just like you. And this knack can become addictive.
Should you over-share?
No, right? When moderation is something we strive for our entire lives, why would we willingly embrace a verb that has the word “over” in its name? So the answer is simple you over-sharing is not good. But who defines the amount? How much is too much? And who can decide it? As I have already said, it is extremely subjective and depends on each individual’s social appetite.
The digital world is sly and cunning and if we are not conscious of our actions it can impact our mental peace and hamper our social lives. The one way to be conscious is by being honest with yourself. Don’t post to prove anything to anyone or to get attention from someone else. Post because you want to and because it will give you joy. In today’s highly transparent world privacy is a blessing; protect your sanity and prioritize your peace.
I dare you — in a world that entices us to browse through the lives of others to help us better determine how we feel about ourselves, and to in turn feel the need to be constantly visible, for visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success — do not be afraid to disappear from it, from us for a while, and see what comes to you in the silence.
Michaela Coel, Emmy Acceptance Speech, 2021
What I was Reading this Week?
When content pays: Content creators cash in on the digital age.
Has the Indian startup ecosystem become a cauldron of mental health woes?
BR Ambedkar museum will act as a beacon to perpetuate his legacy.
Thank you so much for reading till the end. Do let me know if you have any suggestions for things I should talk about ahead.
You can reach out to me directly on my Instagram @pawan_rochwani.
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