June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. But scroll through Instagram and you’d barely notice. No brand campaigns. No real conversations. Just silence. Or sarcasm.
Lately, I’ve been speaking to my women friends about their dating experiences.And the same pattern keeps coming up. Men who don’t know how to ask questions.
Men who panic when things get emotionally real. Men who act like boys. Not in a charming way. In an unaccountable way.
And I get why it frustrates them.
But I also don’t fully relate.
I was raised by three women. My mom and two elder sisters. They feel deeply. Speak clearly. Argue without running away. They never needed a man to translate their emotions for them. So I grew up around emotional intelligence. Around strength that didn’t rely on silence or ghosting.
Maybe that’s why I’ve been thinking about this more. Not with judgment. With curiosity.
What happened here? How did we end up with a generation of men who are so emotionally underdeveloped?
And why Men need a Rebranding.
Since I decided to write this piece, I’ve been speaking to my women friends about their online dating experiences. And there’s a pattern that keeps showing up about men being emotionally stunted.
Men who don’t know how to ask questions or hold a conversation. Men who act like children, not in a playful way, but in an unaccountable way. Men who are defensive, insecure, avoidant, and sometimes outright aggressive. And we’re not talking about college kids here. These are grown men. Often successful, well-travelled, well-read. But emotionally... nowhere.
It’s left me wondering: what happened?
How did we end up with a generation of men who are so underdeveloped in their emotional lives?
We’re facing a quiet crisis of masculinity. And I don’t mean it in the "men are trash" kind of way. I mean it as a genuine, open question, what does it even mean to be a man today?
The world wants men to be providers, stoic, and logical. But also emotionally present. Soft. Communicative. We’ve told them to be strong, but also sensitive. To lead, but also yield. It’s confusing. And most men are stuck in between, not sure who to be, so they just choose silence. Or mimic what they think strength looks like.
Meanwhile, the internet treats male loneliness like a punchline. Memes about how men deserve to die alone. Jokes that mock vulnerability and reduce complexity to clichés. It’s brutal out there. And there are no safe spaces. Just endless pressure to “be better,” without showing them how.
So what can men actually do? What would a real rebrand look like?
Here’s what I’ve been thinking:
1. Model masculinity you’d want your nephew (or future son) to inherit
It starts here. Emotional expression isn’t a skill you magically acquire at 30. It needs practice. I’ve started teaching my 8-year-old nephew that it’s okay to say, “I’m sad.” That he doesn’t have to be “tough” all the time. Sometimes we cry when we lose at cricket. Sometimes we get angry for no reason. What matters is talking about it. Naming it. Own your emotional vocabulary. Not just “fine” or “stressed.” Learn to say: overwhelmed, hurt, uncertain, excited, proud. Being articulate with feelings isn’t soft, it’s clarity. And clarity earns respect.

2. Show up for the people you love, even when it’s inconvenient.
One of my closest friends recently took a 6-month sabbatical to move to the US with his wife while she transitioned to a new career. No drama. No big announcements. Just quiet commitment. I’ve seen him manage the house, take care of their toddler, and support her dreams without feeling emasculated. That’s masculinity, too, showing up fully.

3. Ask more questions.
Not in a performative way. But with genuine curiosity. Ask your friend how they’re really doing. Ask your partner what’s been heavy for them this week. Ask yourself why you’ve been feeling off lately. Listening is not passive; it’s a powerful form of care.
4. Find male friendships that go beyond banter.
We can’t keep relying on women to be our emotional lifelines. I’ve been lucky to have men in my life whom I can call when I’m low. Who won’t laugh if I say, “I just need to talk.” That took years to build. And it started with me going first — being vulnerable, even when it felt awkward.
5. Redefine what strength means.
For too long, strength has looked like silence. Like swallowing your feelings. Like enduring. But maybe strength is also about softness. About being open, even when it’s uncomfortable. About saying “I’m not okay” and not being ashamed.
6. Exit the ‘fix-it’ mode in conversations (I need to learn this too)
When someone vents, don’t jump in with solutions. Just listen. Nod. Say, “That sounds hard.” You don’t always need to solve to be supportive.
7. Invest in your inner world like you do your career
Therapy. Reading. Journaling. Make inner growth a personal KPI. Because no rebrand works if the product hasn’t evolved.
The more I think about it, the more I realise that men need room to grow. Room to fumble, to ask, to be uncertain. Room to redefine what manhood means on their own terms.
And if you’re a man reading this, I want you to know, it’s okay to not have the perfect vocabulary yet. What matters is that you’re willing to try.
And if you’re a woman reading this, be more patient. This is a massive cultural shift that has many layers to it.
See you next Sunday,
Pawan
P.S. If you loved reading this, please share it with your friends or peers, so that way I know you like what I write. Cheers.