What all did I learn in 2020?
Summarising what the year 2020 has been for me.
My Dear Friends
Before I start writing about the year 2020, I want to remind you all that we are speaking to Apar Gupta on 27th December, Sunday 6 PM IST and this will be one of the toughest conversation preparation for me, because I have only one hour to ask him a zillion questions about the internet. All the monthly Bolti Bandh conversations with these guests are exclusive for the Relatively Correct paid subscribers only and these sessions are not recorded or streamed, basically don’t miss it and subscribe to a paid plan to attend this session next Sunday.
Apar Gupta is the Founder of the Internet Freedom Foundation, that has been leading the movement in India for digital rights, cases on privacy and censorship. He has worked extensively with activists and government institutions in public campaigns to advance net neutrality, reform defamation laws, fight against internet shutdowns and introduce a strong privacy statute.
What all I learned in 2020?
The curtain is rolling over this year, and soon we will be busy with our new year’s resolutions and planners, gym memberships, and diet regimes but before that, it is time to reflect and look back. I am not going to glorify my achievements or list down my wins because the internet is already full of overachievers who even during a pandemic seemed to have conquered the world. As a person who talks a lot about making the internet a more habitable place it is important that I paint an authentic account of what my year looked like instead of making it unnecessarily inspirational. This year has been completely different than anything I had planned for and it caught me off guard and taught me some of the most valuable lessons of my adult life.
The first lesson is that never go to New Year parties, I repeat NEVER.
And I don’t say this because I am a sadist with no friends who don’t get invited to parties and thus tries to ruin parties for everyone else. No, that’s not the case, the case is that I went partying with my friends on new years and I also went with them in the first week of January. And believe me, when I say this it just breaks your flow disrupts your work and then it takes you so much time to focus back into work and get back in the routine, and you don’t want that kind of a setback in the first week of the year, do you?
In February this year, when the world was still blissfully ignorant about the virus I went to Jim Corbett National Park for an event, and I was conducting a session about Collaboration and Co-Existence, before conducting a session on any topic I thoroughly read about it, understand everything about it, talk to people who could help me understand better about the topic and I learned that these principles have become my motto in every work endeavour and has helped me form a better understanding of how to work together as a community. I talk a lot about healthy conversations and a depolarised internet space, it was there in Jim Corbett that I embraced and grasped the concept of co-existence. I learned what it means to be truly at peace, to be content with yourself and everything else happening around you. As a person who is constantly on the internet, I need to maintain my sanity and not be triggered at the slightest of things or comments made by strangers. But this is easier said than done, and it takes time and patience to cultivate tolerance. Though it is a constant journey towards self-improvement, I am a lot more at peace today than I was maybe a year ago.
February was also the last ‘normal’ work month for me, and all of us at PFA were quite engrossed with the launch and promotions of UNREAD. And due to my work commitments, I missed out on one of my closest friend’s wedding, and she did not talk to me for the next 3 month.
So don’t miss out on your friend’s weddings.
During this pandemic, I have come really close to my family and I have thoroughly enjoyed their company. If not anything else this pandemic has taught me to prioritise friendships and personal relationships in life and giving them equal importance instead of being emerged in only one dimension of life. And thus though my schedule was jam-packed with work, I decided not to make the same mistake and I attended my best friend’s wedding in early December.
The lockdown wrecked all our plans, our book tours and events were canceled, we were completely clueless on how to proceed next. It was also the time when I was feeling creatively exhausted, I was overwhelmed about everything that was happening and I finally decided to take a break from my podcast as well as my newsletter. It was a very hard decision to take because as a creator in a highly competitive ever-growing creative space you don’t want to lose your audience, you don’t want to put a sudden break when things are going fine but I can say this with confidence that it was the best decision I took in 2020. That break was important to refresh my energy to put things back in perspective to help me get back with renewed creative instincts. It also gave me the opportunity to try out new things, I started a workshop to help other creators get better at social media, I also started mentoring and consulting at MyCaptain. And then when I finally got back to my podcast and newsletter I talked extensively about creative burnout and somehow it felt empowering to be able to share my weaknesses as a creator and having a community that resonated with my struggles and made me feel stronger.
I also learned that it is very important to get out of loops and take risks. As human beings, it is very easy for us to develop habits, put ourselves into boxes, follow the same routines year after year. We lose our excitement, our vigor towards our work because we don’t challenge ourselves, once we get to a certain position, land a certain job we get too comfortable and start taking things for granted. I did not want this to happen to me, it takes effort to even keep your passion burning, so I decided to take that break. And it is also the same reason that now I have taken up work as a podcaster in a different organisation even though I already had too much on my plate and I knew it was going to be tough for me to manage.
2020 was the year of great conversations, I feel grateful to be in a field that allows me to meet extraordinary people and know their stories. I think conversations can be life changing, let that be with friends or family or experts or strangers every Sunday night 11 PM IST.
I hosted Vir Das, Shweta Shalini, Nikhil Taneja, and many many more amazingly talented people. I derived so much value from each of these conversations, and I am proud of myself for investing in people and trying to understand different perspectives.
All in all this year has been quite eventful though unexpected. I have found joy in those innumerable rounds of dumb charades, morning bicycle rides, silly change.org petitions, hour-long video chats, binge-watching DARK and obsessing over it thereafter, and at the same time, I have not particularly found joy in embarrassing hair cuts, not so fun Diwali and birthday celebration, months-long separation from Bruce. But nothing takes away from the fact that I have grown a lot this year, my personal and professional life went through major changes, and though I would have wanted some things to be different then again it is life. Chalti ka nam Zindagi, right? And that right there is the biggest learning from 2020- to move on!
As some of you already know I have bid farewell to my very favourite PFA space in August due to logistical problems. I have also said goodbye to a very special person in my life. She was not only a great friend and a Co-Founder to PFA but also a brilliant human being. After being together for years we decided to move on our separate ways because life demanded so. We can never hold on to people just because we want to, we have to accept and embrace the transition and the void left by the other person and move on. And that's what I have decided to do even if it is a very hard choice. For now I am putting my faith in this process called life and one day when everything is said and done I hope I will be able to connect the dots.
On that positive note, here's hoping 2021 is a little less crappy and much more adventurous, filled with learnings and life altering decisions and most of all peace and joy!
Take care you all, please drop in the comments what have your best learnings been in 2020 and would love to create this as a thread of positivity, so don’t show shy away to comment.
P.S Don’t be shocked if I send a newsletter with the subject line ‘I got married last weekend’ anytime in 2021.
P.S.S Reminding again about 27th December, 6 PM IST session with Apar Gupta, become a paid subscriber of Relatively Correct to attend this session.
In 2020, i learn the important of family because they are not with me during lock down accept my father. I love to live with my father but I miss my mom too much. Due to lock down my final year exam postpond which i don't like. And all else is good.
2020 was challenging and taught me alot. I made few hard decisions which I should have taken earlier. I felt content with myself, I realised that I don't need people for anything, I'm enough and important. What I should do is cherish my own space. Learnt that all friends ain't for life and it's perfectly fine. IN A NUTSHELL I FOUND ME, I FOUND PEACE WITHIN.