What I miss about being an Entrepreneur.
Grey thoughts about the past, present & future.
Hello Folks!
Last week, I embraced the wanderlust corporate spirit in me to its fullest. You know, the kind of people who board nine flights in a week, host events record shit and move around meeting other such cosmopolitan spirits, talking about high-end stuff while continuously posting about the local cuisine they are having. Yes, that was me last week.
As we closed the last chapter of our Marketing Mixer series, I found my way back to the familiar comfort of my writing desk on Saturday morning. I found myself thinking about the kind of work I am doing, and the people I am meeting.
And how all of this somehow feels like a dream. Leading the best life, doing the best work. I realized that I have also gotten so much better at having personal-professional boundaries, after all, wasn't I back at home for the weekend? Not working, not networking, not having meetings (not true entirely).
But, it wasn’t always this way. The journey has been quite looooooong.
It took every bit of strength and courage in my bones to write and send that resignation letter after only six months of working in 2017.
Somewhere anguished by the lack of joy and fulfilment in the said job and somewhere moved by the many Ranbir Kapoor monologues. I, too, left in search of my passion.
The impulsive trip turned into a country-wide exploration, the first couple of days were planned, but even I am not sure what I exactly did for 56 days! I was out there meeting artists, struggling just like me, communities who did not yet call themselves that. It would be a cliche, but it won't be a lie to claim that those days taught me more about life and art than any degree or job role would ever have. By the end of the trip, I knew what I wanted to do, though I was clueless about the how.
We started small, very, very small. Fifteen artists, 1 room over a weekend, just getting to know each other's works and visions. As rosy and romantic as it might seem today, the rags to riches story is not always so motivating, especially when you live it.
I remember working for almost 18 hours a day. Ideating, strategizing, networking, hosting events, launching campaigns, onboarding people, and most importantly, scaling the community. We did it all on our own. There were no breaks, no weekends, no vacations. There was no me time, no family time, no leisure; there was only one idea after another, one thing after the other.
The community and the space consumed me entirely. I gave it my all; every inch of my body and soul went into making what PFA is today. The kind of work ethic I had can be called toxic productivity today; maybe it was, or not.
Yes, work should be wholesome and fulfilling, but it should not be all.
But how do you build something without getting consumed by it fully? I won't perhaps be able to hustle as hard today as I did back then. Part of the reason is that I have resources and manpower to lie back upon today. Today I am surrounded by teams and particular agendas.
Today I am no longer an Entrepreneur.
The work is as thrilling as ever, the space even more vibrant, and I have evolved so much, but sometimes I miss the adventure of my initial days.
Thank you for reading till the need. For any suggestions, queries, or advice, reach out to me on my Instagram at @pawan_rochwani.
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I will see you in the next one, till then take care!